im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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