People in love make me want to vomit
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
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I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
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How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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