i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
