Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
