Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
