hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
