Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
