There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
