After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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