On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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