im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
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