Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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