Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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