SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
