I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
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He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
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Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize