I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
