birth control should be required to get into college
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
soo... how was my night?
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