"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
