you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
