quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize