Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
there is puke in my bra ... again
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