Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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