Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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