i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
