he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
