Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Welp...herpes.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
