go do what you do best...puke behind churches
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's rum buckets o'clock
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize