I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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