Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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