ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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