Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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