there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
