I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
