I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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