She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
17 year olds will be the death of me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
