I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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