your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
