walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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