I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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