Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm sobbing to NWA
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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