He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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