So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
