Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
