At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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