Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
