you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
