So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
