Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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