Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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