school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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