Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
love makes seman taste better
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
