Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
