I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
