You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
