I can text with my tongue
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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