I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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