official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
the raccoons are back...
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