the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I will be naked everywhere
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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