wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
