You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
