Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
