Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
