That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
